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Tonto Died Last Night

Well, at least we tried.

Our equine vet, Dr. Erin Taylor, called last night at 11:30 p.m. to say Tonto had just died.

Erin said she was surprised because he had come through the surgery so well and then recovered so quickly and easily from the anesthesia.  But in the end, it had all been just too much for his old body.

I told her we didn’t have any regrets about doing the surgery and were glad we had given him a chance.  Erin said, "You’re right, because if we had gone ahead and euthanized him earlier, you would always have wondered ‘what if?’  At least you know you did everything you could."

Our only regret is that we weren’t there with him when he died.  It’s so important to us that we’re with them when they go, so when they die like this, it hurts even more.

It’s been a rough two weeks.

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37 responses to “Tonto Died Last Night”

  1. Clay Hickman Avatar
    Clay Hickman

    Thank you for giving Tonto and the other friends that we’ve lost this month such love and care.

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  2. Carla Polastro-Nigro Avatar
    Carla Polastro-Nigro

    Dear Alayne & Steve, I’m SO sorry to read about Tonto’s sudden death!
    Please find some consolation in knowing that you did everything you could to save him and that he’s young and whole again now, happily cantering across the Elysian fields…

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  3. kimmer Avatar
    kimmer

    It has been rough for Rolling Dog Ranch and you and Alayne. I too am glad you tried to save Tonto. In this day and age it’s so easy to quit because going on takes so much emotion. Thank you for taking that extra effort and heartache.

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  4. kcborrs Avatar
    kcborrs

    I am so sorry to hear about Tonto! It really has been a rough few weeks for you and Alayne. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks again for all you two angels do for these animals!

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  5. Janet Avatar
    Janet

    I am so sorry for your loss. Dear, sweet Tonto. It’s such a shock when it happens so quickly, especially if you can’t be there. You did the right thing. He had a good, good life with you and his equine companions. RIP, sweet boy.

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  6. Jane Tunnicliff Avatar
    Jane Tunnicliff

    Steve, Alayne and Scout –
    My most heartfelt condolences and prayers are with you.
    Thank you for the care and love that you have given Tonto and Peabody. They were very blessed to have spent their last year’s at the RDR.
    kind regards,
    Jane

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  7. Mircat Avatar
    Mircat

    I’m convinced that some animals are very independent spirits and choose to leave when there isn’t anybody around. I also think some love their caregivers so much they don’t want them to hurt when they leave. So maybe Tonto needed to do this alone.
    Bless your compassion for wanting to be there at the end with your animals. I am shocked when people won’t. However, like I said, maybe Tonto wanted to do this his way.
    Namaste,
    Mircat

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  8. shelby Avatar
    shelby

    with tears flowing hard, know that I prayed for Tonto that he would be free of the pain and find happiness. I thought he’d be home soon, just not God’s home. I’m thankful that these beautiful creatures have you and Elayne. Man these past couple have really hit me HARD, I can’t imagine being you. My heart would be mush! Thanks for all that you do and being the angels you are…RIP our RDR critters we will never forget you and will love you forever. Keep an eye out for others who need RDR and help them find their way.
    God bless you

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  9. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Again- our deep sympathy for your loss of dear Tonto. We SO admire your desire to ideally be with them to the end. But we also know how Tonto KNOWS that, and is your guardian angel of the entire ranch now. Thank you all for giving him a kind, loving and wonderful life while here.

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  10. Jenn Avatar
    Jenn

    I don’t know how you guys do it…I am so sad for y’all right now. I clicked here hoping to see news of more recovery and this just breaks my heart. Even tho you weren’t physically there with him, you were with him…and he’ll always be with y’all. Much love…

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  11. Elaine Miller Avatar
    Elaine Miller

    I am so sorry to hear about Tonto & Peabody.May you find some peace in knowing that they are no longer in pain and are with all the loved animals that have passed from RDR recently.God Bless both of you for all the love & care you gave them and for all you do for the special animals there at RDR.Hope the fires are put out soon and don’t get any closer to the ranch. Love & Peace,Elaine,Jake& Brave

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  12. Jen Avatar
    Jen

    I’m so sorry you guys. What an awful months this has been. I’m sure that Tonto was glad that you loved him enough to at least try to save him. I’m so so so sorry. It doesn’t matter how old they are. It still hurts a lot. My thoughts are with you all.

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  13. Jessica, NL Avatar
    Jessica, NL

    Dear Two, your hearts probably feel all bruised and battered right now….you’re in my thoughts! How are you holding up? Every time one of my furry familymembers dies it feels like one of the targets (the thing with the bull’s-eye?) has come off my heart, but one of the supports has gone from under it too.
    They make me vulnerable and hold me together at the same time.
    And kimmer, such a true comment!
    The courage of love can face the fear at the RDR…

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  14. Bernadette Carter Avatar
    Bernadette Carter

    My deepest condolences on your loss. Keep in your heart that Tonto knew great happiness and love during his time with you, and although you were not with him when he died, he was not alone. What a beautiful soul he was.

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  15. ginger & Tobias (the greythound) Avatar
    ginger & Tobias (the greythound)

    You gave Tonto the best care & love possible. He wasn’t suffering in some forlorn place without the attention that he needed. You did the right thing by having the surgery for him, I would have done the same if he’d been mine. I’m sorry you weren’t there with him at the time, but Tonto knew that you & Alayne loved him. My deepest sympathy.
    With biggest healing hugs,
    ginger

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  16. Tonya Zuniga Avatar
    Tonya Zuniga

    I am so sorry for the losses the ranch has suffered lately. Thank you so much for the wonderful work you do for all the animals!

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  17. Patti Hernandez Avatar
    Patti Hernandez

    Thank you for trying. I know you and Alayne are devastated, but I hope you will find comfort in knowing that you did everything possible for Tonto. He had a wonderful, happy life after coming to your ranch. That is his “thanks” to you.

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  18. Judy and Joe Taylor Avatar
    Judy and Joe Taylor

    We are so sorry to hear of Tonto’s passing Please be comforted in the knowledge that you did EVERY thing you could for the ol’guy .May I suggest ,humbly, that you take a deep breath and then have a GOOD??? cleansing cry(it realley does help to have a real boo hoo!) and then take on the next situation that is sure to arise. Stay strong and please know there will be BETTER days and weeks ahead.These last couple of weeks have been real “bears”!! A big group hug from every one to each of you. We love you!!!!

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  19. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Wer’e sending our heartfelt condolences to you for the loss of
    Tonto. While you may not have been there in the physical sense,
    knowing that you were there in spirit will comfort you, and he
    was with people that also cared and loved him. You both are a blessing to those that have the opportunity to enjoy what time they have left here on earth and you did for and gave to Tonto everything that was in your ability to do. I’m praying that you can have a respite from all the sorrow of loss for awhile.

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  20. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    Steve & Alayne, I’m so sorry for your loss of Tonto, and the other losses you’ve had to endure these past few weeks. You did everything you could for these guys and I know they loved you for it! Remember, when one door closes, another one opens… or sometimes at least a window. Take care, Susan & your alumnus Buddy

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  21. kara Avatar
    kara

    Gee… You guys have had some rough days. Just know they are free of pain and will always be with you -in your hearts.
    Death is our constant companion…

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  22. Heidi & the kitties Avatar
    Heidi & the kitties

    Oh dear, I am so very sorry! And all the more so that you couldn’t be there. But you were there when he needed you the most, and that was when he had nowhere else to go. He was able to live a longer life thanks to you and Alayne. You truly did everything you could for him. I know it still hurts, though.
    And poor Scout – what will he do without his buddy?

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  23. Shirley & James, Portland, OR Avatar
    Shirley & James, Portland, OR

    Dear Alayne and Steve,
    “What if” haunts you forever…thank goodness you don’t have to live with the the “what if!!!” with Tonto.
    Our deepest condolences on your loss.

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  24. John Avatar
    John

    You did the right thing. He was lucky to have you.

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  25. Shirley & James, Portland, OR Avatar
    Shirley & James, Portland, OR

    Don’t mourn for me
    Dear owner, kind and true
    I know that you will miss me
    As I will also think of you.
    We shared so many secrets;
    those you whispered in my ear.
    I’ve kept those secrets for you
    lest any one would hear.
    An in return you’ve kept me
    from being turned out in the cold.
    You’ve fed, watered, & cared for me while we both grew old.
    But God had called and needs me;
    He says that it is time
    I claim that sweet reward
    in a kinder, greener clime.
    He promises sweeter clover,
    clear water, rich and pure
    I’ll never have to suffer
    from wounds that humans cannot cure.
    I’ll romp and play all day
    with others he has called hither.
    I’ll have so many new friends
    that will scratch upon my wither.
    I’ll be watching out for you
    when comes your judgement day
    and together towards the pearly gates we again will ride away!
    author unknown

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  26. Kae Avatar
    Kae

    What a terrible few weeks you have endured. My thoughts are with you. It hardly seems fair you must carry these burdens when the work you do is so extraordinary.
    Kindest and best wishes.
    Kae

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  27. Mary Young Avatar
    Mary Young

    Dear Steve & Alayne, so sorry about Tonto, he had a beautiful life at Rolling Dog, we will be thinking about you.

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  28. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    I am so very sorry for your loss. At least you tried everything you could to save him. He was very loved & I’m sure he knew it.
    Please know many people are thinking of you all in these sad times.

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  29. Janet Avatar
    Janet

    “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
    I would rather grieve for my animal companions’ deaths than never to have had them in my life.

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  30. Priscilla Smith Avatar
    Priscilla Smith

    I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of Tonto. Yes, it has been a rough two weeks for the both of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    I believe that we all return to our Creator when we cross over – be it human beings or animals. I am sure your animals that have recently crossed over are in a good and happy place where there is much love, hugs and kisses.

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  31. Regis Dalton Avatar
    Regis Dalton

    Bless all of you at RDR. You are so strong and supportive for all the animals at every stage in their life.

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  32. Nina Avatar
    Nina

    My sympathies go out to you both…this summer has been brutal! I agree that you did the right thing by going the surgery route…you gave him another chance. Tonto knew that and he also knew love and compassion to the end. Even though you weren’t there at the very end, may you both find comfort in that knowledge.

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  33. Rosemary Avatar
    Rosemary

    I’m sooo sad tonight upon learning of the death of Tonto. Its sooo sad to lose a pet like that. You both should be commended for all that you did for him in his last days. Its been a tough week for u all, but lets hope next week will be a whole lot better. Tonto is happily munching his hay and grass upstairs with the Lord. God bless you all.

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  34. Boundforglory Avatar
    Boundforglory

    A rough week speaks mildly, I’m sure. I’m so sorry about Tonto’s passing and your feelings about not being with him as he passed. I can understand that.
    I belive you always do your absolute best for the animals and did the same for Tonto.
    Loving and healing hugs to you and Alayne.
    Love and peace to Tonto.

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  35. Karen Avatar
    Karen

    I am so sorry. I know that kind of sorrow is very hard to express. It goes deep. God bless as you heal from this situation.
    You did the right thing ! Steve when you get a chance could you pls email me directly I have a product and with some of my sales I would like to pledge (although small as I am that at present)

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  36. Matt Avatar
    Matt

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for your loss.

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  37. Marisa Avatar
    Marisa

    Alayne and Steve,
    It’s never wasted effort; you would definitely have always wondered if you had not gone ahead with the surgery.
    A few weeks ago, a friend and I found a cat wobbling down the middle of the road, obviously in grave distress.
    We rushed her to an emergency vet who really had no answers for us and so I put $1300 on my credit card (incidentally all I had in my bank account) simply to stabilize the poor kitty. No surgery, no meds really…just the cost of being an emergency and some fluids and oxygen.
    The cat died without ever really regaining consciousness…I didn’t even get to see her raise her head or say goodbye. It was all over in a few hours. She was a stranger to me and I to her and all the money in the world couldn’t save her life.
    Would I do it again? Without hesitation.
    The point is not that she died but that someone cared enough to do everything they could to help her live.
    And that’s what you did for Tonto and what you do everyday for those who depend on you. That level of care and respect for animals is very rare; thank you.

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