Helen on last morning

She gave it everything she had … and then she let us know she was ready to go.  Our beautiful blind Rottie, Helen, died yesterday afternoon.  I took the photo in the morning, knowing this would be her last day.  As always, she had her little tongue sticking out while she slept.  She had battled cancer for a long time, having lost a rear leg to it a few years ago and then getting stricken with a different kind of cancer last year.  Helen was currently on a second course of chemotherapy for her fibrosarcoma.  In recent months she had been slowing down — a function of her age, hip dysplasia in her remaining rear leg, and no doubt the toll taken by the cancer and chemo.  We don't really know how old she was, but we'd had her for eight years and she was no youngster when she first arrived.  We guessed she was by now at least 12, if not older.

On Saturday morning she didn't want to get up, so we let her lie there on her bed in the dog room.  She would drink but not eat, and by Saturday evening she would turn her nose away from food.  We knew what all this meant.  She was done and wanted to go.  We sat with her for quite a while Saturday night, loving her up.  On Sunday morning, she was still lying there peacefully, and again would drink but not eat that day.  We kept the woodstove going all weekend in the dog room so she could be toasty warm on her bed, and she seemed very restful.  But on Monday morning when we got up we noticed her breathing was suddenly heavier than normal, so I called our vet clinic in Whitefield and scheduled an appointment for euthanasia.  We had hoped she would be able to pass away here at home, but only as long as she wasn't in any discomfort.  Seeing the difference in her breathing changed that.

Alayne and I bundled her in fleece blankets and put her on the stretcher, then carried her out and slid the stretcher into the back seat of the truck.  By the time I got to the clinic, I could sense Helen was slipping away.  While I waited for our vet to come out to the truck, I sat in the back seat with her.  I realized she was going, right then and there, and started to cry.  (I just don't do this well.)  When our vet, Dr. Chris Plumley, and vet tech Kim C., got to the truck, Chris asked, "Is she still with us?" 

I looked at Helen, and said, "No, I think we're losing her."  Then she raised her head slightly, took her final breaths … and she was gone. 

Helen was one tough girl, and had overcome so much — blindness at an early age, then losing a leg, then fighting more cancer.  Along the way she had more lumps and bumps removed than any dog I think we've ever had except blind Goldie. 

At the ranch in Montana, she staked out Alayne's office as her den, and that's where she lived — morning, noon and night.  Alayne said yesterday, "She was the best officemate ever."  We had Helen in our fall 2010 print newsletter as one of our "ranch originals."

When we were first asked to take her, I will admit we were nervous.  We were, like many people who don't know any better, intimidated by Rottweilers at the time.  But we agreed to take her, and were always glad we did.  As we've said many times, Helen was a perfect ambassador for the breed.  On visitor days at the ranch, people would often freeze when they saw this big, 100 lb Rottie with her odd-looking eyes come around the corner.  Helen was always a kisser, and there was no one she didn't like to smooch with.  We'd laugh and say, "Don't worry, she's only going to lick you to death, so get prepared."  Our visitors would relax, and here would come blind Helen, lumbering over to them, tongue at the ready.  She helped change many minds that way.

Goodbye, Helen.  We will always love you.

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117 responses to “We Lost Blind Helen”

  1. Janet in Cambridge Avatar

    RIP, sweet beautiful girl. You were loved. Kisses on your nose.
    Condolences are inadequate, but I send mine anyway, Steve and Alayne.

    Like

  2. Karla Avatar
    Karla

    Alayne and Steve,
    I’m so sorry to read about Helen. She gave it a great fight. We lost one of our cats two years ago this Christmas to lymphoma after trying to fight it with chemo. As for Rotties, one of the greatest dogs I’ve ever known was a Rottie. A big guy but a gentle giant. It sounds like Helen was ready.

    Like

  3. Diane Bowlin Avatar
    Diane Bowlin

    Dear Alayne and Steve, I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet Helen, what a brave girl she was and what loving caring people you both are to have given her such a happy home for such a long time (it’s never long enough it seems). Thank you for all you do, please accept my condolences and know there ae tears in Temecula, Ca. for that sweet Rottie this evening. Diane Bowlin

    Like

  4. Ev Avatar
    Ev

    Bless you guys for the lovely write up about dear sweet Helen. What a lucky girl she was being your goodwill ambassador. She couldn’t have had a better family to love and care for her. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Like

  5. Moon Rani Avatar
    Moon Rani

    I send my sympathies on the loss of Helen. She was a gorgeous love of a dog.

    Like

  6. Sandy Shubert Avatar
    Sandy Shubert

    “When we are certain of sorrow in store/ Why do we always arrange for more/ Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware/ Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.”
    Rudyard Kipling
    You two are the best! Surely Helen owed her life to you and in return she helped make your hearts bigger. Rest in peace old girl.

    Like

  7. Suzanne Babbitt Avatar
    Suzanne Babbitt

    I am so sorry to hear about Helen. She had been thru alot and gave it her all. I make chemo for humans and know just how hard that can be on you. She took it all in stride. I am glad you let her go and you were with her.

    Like

  8. Marla from KC Avatar
    Marla from KC

    Rest in peace sweet Helen. I am so happy you got to live in loving care and pass in loving care. I can tell you were very special to Alayne and Steve….now you have all four legs and can run and play to your heart’s content. Thank you Steve and Alayne for making her time to go so very comfortable. She was a blessed dog to have you love her so much.

    Like

  9. coasterkim Avatar
    coasterkim

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved pet is always difficult, whether you have one or one hundred. My prayers are with you.

    Like

  10. Lynne Parker Avatar

    I know how hard that is. Animals have so much more dignity about death than we do. The know when it’s time to leave and accept that it is the final act in life. Like all of your animals, Helen is right where she has always been—in your heart.

    Like

  11. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    God bless you dear dear girl….you and your loving family were blessed to have each other…..may you know romp happily in Heaven’s pastures……

    Like

  12. jatchison - Helena Avatar
    jatchison – Helena

    Good bye sweet Helen – You were lucky to have those 2 humans love you so very much. I wish you the best in your new life!!!!

    Like

  13. Shirley * James/Portland, OR Avatar

    We will miss you beautiful sweet Helen! YES you were the perfect ambassador.

    Like

  14. Beth @ To the Fullest Avatar

    Farewell, beautiful Helen.

    Like

  15. Tori T. Avatar
    Tori T.

    I’m so sorry to hear about Helen. She seemed like the biggest lover. My thoughts are with you guys and all of your furry friends who are missing her.

    Like

  16. Christine Baltazar in Portland, Oregon Avatar
    Christine Baltazar in Portland, Oregon

    I’m so very sorry. She was always one of my favorites to read about. We’re all better people for having gotten to know her, that’s for sure. Please take care.

    Like

  17. Phyllis Snow Avatar
    Phyllis Snow

    Thank you for taking blind Helen into your family. Thank you for giving her those 8 years. Thank you for sharing her story. Thank you for all your wonderful work. Phyllis Snow

    Like

  18. Lynn (in Louisiana) Avatar
    Lynn (in Louisiana)

    Goodbye Helen. It was indeed a pleasure to have known you.
    Thank you Alayne and Steve.

    Like

  19. Emma Rose and the Duchess Avatar

    We are so sorry for your loss. Now she is at peace and pain free. You gave her a wonderful life. Thank you for all you do for these precious souls.

    Like

  20. Nina Avatar
    Nina

    This is such sad news to hear about the loss of precious Helen. She was so blessed to have lived here on the ranch. My heart breaks for all of you.

    Like

  21. Jolene Avatar

    my heart goes out to you all…..
    thank you for giving her such a wonderful life for her last years.

    Like

  22. Doe George Avatar
    Doe George

    Steve & Alayne you are in my thought’s and prayers. Sweet Helen gave it the “good fight” bless her BIG heart! I will certainly miss updates on Helen the beautiful Rottie girl. Forever whole, and pain free.

    Like

  23. Ellie Rose Avatar
    Ellie Rose

    So glad Helen got to spend time at the new Rolling Ranch in NH.Sleep tight sweet Helen……..

    Like

  24. Vickie Avatar
    Vickie

    So sorry.

    Like

  25. Chloe Avatar

    Helen,
    Thank you for sharing your beauty, sweetness and dignity with us.
    You must be getting a glorious welcome in Heaven. You made a profound impact on many here on earth.

    Like

  26. Laura, Levi & Timmy Avatar
    Laura, Levi & Timmy

    I’m so sorry to hear about Helen. I remember the very first time I came to the ranch, way back when, Helen was one of the first dogs that approached me. I do have to say I had that same thought about Rotties. I didn’t know she was blind and the way she was walking to me, I have to admit I was a little nervous. When I asked Steve if she was ok, he said she was. When she reached me, she plopped down into my lap and gave me a kiss. I will never forget that!! She was a very special dog. I’m sorry she wasn’t able to “go” at home, but at least she went on her own. My thoughts are with you both!! A big hug from me, Levi and Timmy!!

    Like

  27. Leslie Avatar
    Leslie

    Steve and Alayne, please know that you are in my thoughts. I always loved hearing about Helen because she looks just like my old Rottie girl, who has also battled cancer. Helen was a special soul and such a great ambassador for the breed. Kisses, sweet little girl. You were so very loved.

    Like

  28. Leila - Washington Avatar
    Leila – Washington

    Our prayers are with you guys during this sad time……so glad you have so many loving and happy memories of that sweet girl…she went with dignity and surrounded by much love.

    Like

  29. Heidi, Emmett the Beagle, and Moxie the kitty Avatar
    Heidi, Emmett the Beagle, and Moxie the kitty

    Oh Helen, you beautiful, sweet, gentle girl. Bless you for all the love in your big heart. You brought joy to all who met you, either in person or here on the blog. Rest well, sweet girl, you will be terribly missed. Steve and Alayne, I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. And Steve, none of us do this well – it’s because we love them so deeply.

    Like

  30. Cora Hellings Avatar
    Cora Hellings

    I am so sad; she was a favorite.

    Like

  31. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    Thank you Steve for writing such a beautiful article about Helen while dealing with your own grief. Your words really brought Helen into all our hearts. My heart goes out to you and Alayne. I know how hard it is to lose such a love. Queen Elizabeth once said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.” Helen knew how much you loved her. She was one lucky girl.

    Like

  32. Sandra Avatar

    I am so sorry for your loss -the most important thing is that she was loved dearly and she always got the best care possible. You are both true gems.

    Like

  33. Ann Avatar
    Ann

    I’m so sorry to hear that sweet Helen has left us. She gave it her all and endured all her medical issues with courage. She had a wonderful 8 years being loved and cared for by you and Alayne. Rest In Peace, Helen.

    Like

  34. Carla Polastro-Nigro Avatar

    I always wonder how you two can possibly cope with such heartbreak over and over again… You are special human beings indeed.
    Goodbye sweet Helen, may the earth be light upon you.

    Like

  35. Jessica, NL Avatar
    Jessica, NL

    So sorry to hear about her passing, but the way in which she could go sounds very gentle and she was surrounded by love. What more can anybody ask for?
    And, Steve, you not only “DO do this well”, you do it how it is supposed to be done… With tears, with heartbreak, and with all the feelings that will send the spirit on its way….

    Like

  36. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    As always in my thoughts & prayers

    Like

  37. ginger Avatar
    ginger

    Helen had the best of everything with you & Alayne as her guardians the last eight years of her life and she knew that. I know that she was so happy to be in your special care with so much love. I’m sending you both special hugs of sympathy on your loss of dear sweet Helen.
    Sending special hugs,
    ginger, Tobias & Tlingit

    Like

  38. Cathy Silvestro Avatar
    Cathy Silvestro

    There are not enough words to comfort you and Alayne at a time like this. The bottom line is knowing that Helen was loved and cherished for the majority of her life is what matters most thanks to the two of you. She has taken her place among the stars and is now free of any and all earthly pain. Rest well sweet girl.

    Like

  39. Debbie Avatar
    Debbie

    I just felt my heart break in two. I loved Helen so much, and I was always hoping she would be with us forever. Please accept my condolences….I feel a deep sadness enveloping me. Thank you for everything you did for her over the years-she was blessed to have found you!

    Like

  40. Celia Allen Avatar
    Celia Allen

    So sorry to read of Helen’s passing. Even when we know it’s going to happen…it is still so difficult. Been through it ourselves many a time….and it’s not an easy thing to endure. Love both of you and all you do for the animals.

    Like

  41. Nancy Longfield Avatar
    Nancy Longfield

    Dear Alayne and Steve–I’m so sorry about Helen. What a great, filled with love, life you gave her. We had our 14-year old, Buddy put to sleep about three weeks ago and it hurts so much. What wonderful creatures dogs are and how lucky we are to have them, if only for a little while.
    Thinking of you with love and prayers. Nancy Longfield

    Like

  42. Ashley Avatar

    We’ll all miss Blind Helen. So sorry to hear she has left us, and thoughts are with all of you at the ranch.

    Like

  43. Glenda Avatar
    Glenda

    I’m sorry there’s nothing I say to make this easier for you.
    So instead, I’ll cry with you….

    Like

  44. Heartbeats Avatar

    As a fan of the big dog breeds, I loved Helen. Bless her heart. RDR does wonderful things.

    Like

  45. Toni Avatar
    Toni

    Sweet dreams Helen! We know you are at the Rainbow Bridge enjoying a life without pain…enjoy!

    Like

  46. gayle Avatar
    gayle

    She had a good life thanks to you.

    Like

  47. Jane Broshears Avatar
    Jane Broshears

    RIP Helen. Steve and Alayne, my heart goes out to you.

    Like

  48. Laura (B) Geary Avatar
    Laura (B) Geary

    Big HUGS to both of you!

    Like

  49. Leslie - PA Avatar
    Leslie – PA

    I hung this saying in my cube a couple years ago when I lost my cat of 20 years. Every time something like this happens, I re-read this.
    “We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan”
    – Irving Townsend-
    Thank you Steve and Alayne for making every day special and wonderful for these amazing creatures.

    Like

  50. Louis and Jean Steinberg Avatar
    Louis and Jean Steinberg

    Please accept our condolences and our love and prayers. Helen gave you the best eight years of here life. You all were so lucky to make a good life for her.
    Jean and Louis

    Like

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