Birdie_on_july_25

This one … this loss was devastating.

On Friday morning when we went to let the dogs out of Kelly’s Cottage, we found some diarrhea and chewed grass thrown up on the floor.  We watched the dogs file out to see who it might be, and quickly realized it was Birdie.

She had a form of muscular dystrophy unique to Labs called centronuclear myopathy, and as a result she walked with a hunched back and short, stiff gait.  Her exterior muscles had atrophied, leaving her thin looking, but she was smart, funny, talkative, and otherwise very healthy.  Birdie was the kind of girl who was always the life of every party.  Indeed, on our visitor weekends, Birdie was convinced that everyone had come from far away just to see her, and she did her best to steal the show.  She greeted visitors when they arrived by sitting up like a seal and making high-pitched seal-like barks to draw people over to her … and yes, it worked.  I would always tell Birdie:  if you want to look like a seal and sound like a seal, you need to learn to balance a ball on your nose like a seal. 

But on Friday morning, there were no entertaining antics.  She wasn’t her usual, happy, bouncy self.  She walked over to a water bowl and started drinking.  And drinking.  Then she got up, walked behind a cottage and tried to poop … but couldn’t.  She repeated this cycle of copious drinking and unsuccessful efforts to poop.

A short while later we loaded her in the truck and I was on my way to our vet clinic in Helena with her.  I took the photo above of Birdie just before taking her into the clinic.  I figured she had some kind of intestinal problem — perhaps colitis — and would be back home soon enough.  I had no idea how wrong I would be.

X-rays showed an intestinal blockage, and she needed surgery right away.  Our internal medicine specialist, Dr. Britt Culver, operated on Birdie Friday afternoon.  From "skin-to-skin" — initial incision to final suture — Britt had Birdie in and out of surgery in under 45 minutes.  He called to say everything had gone well, and he didn’t have to resect, or remove, any part of her intestine.  That speeds up recovery and reduces the risk of complications.

On Saturday morning, our primary care vet, Dr. Brenda Culver — Britt’s wife — called to say Birdie was doing well and that she was up and walking.  Overnight, Britt had added some support therapy to help strengthen Birdie’s heart because of her myopathy.  Any time you have a systemic disease like this, the body is more compromised and thus the risks are higher, hence the precaution.  Brenda said they had Birdie on a bed on the floor of the surgery area, and whenever they talked to her or petted her, Birdie would wag her tail and thump it on the ground.

When we signed off the call Saturday morning, Brenda had said the next time she’d call would be with the ‘Sunday morning report’ unless anything changed.

Alayne and I had been in bed for a short while Saturday night when the bedside phone rang.  I looked over at the clock and it was 11:08 p.m.  The screen on the phone lit up with the clinic phone number and name.  My heart sank.  I knew something terrible had happened.  I grabbed the phone.

It was Brenda.  Birdie had just died.

I was stunned as I listened to Brenda describe what happened.  She had been making the late-night rounds at the clinic, looking in on all the patients, and was doing a TPR check (temperature, pulse, respiration) on Birdie.  She was listening to Birdie’s heart with a stethoscope, and her heart sounded fine.  As she pulled the stethoscope away and was about to stand up, she looked at Birdie and suddenly sensed something wasn’t right.  Brenda put the stethoscope back on Birdie’s chest, and as she did so, Birdie took a breath and rolled over, dead.  Just like that.  She couldn’t revive her.

Brenda said there was no seizure, no vocalization, and no struggle.  It was quiet and peaceful and instantaneous.  Brenda told me she had called Britt, who was at their home, to tell him what had just occurred, and he suspected a blood clot had caused a stroke. 

As Alayne began piecing together what had happened from overhearing my end of the conversation, she started crying, and I couldn’t hold it together much longer myself.  I told Brenda I would call her back today after we had a chance to come to grips with the news.

Both Alayne and I were in tears by then, and we got up and walked down to the living room, where we sat for hours, crying and telling Birdie stories and hugging some of our other dogs.  We weren’t prepared for this at all.  Birdie was only about 5 years old, and she was right up there with Widget and a few others as among the most-special dogs we’ve ever had in our lives.  Birdie was the kind of animal who brings you joy every day, who makes you laugh, and for whom a ‘day-without-Birdie’ isn’t a complete day at all.  She was so smart I was convinced she understood every word I said.  I could say, "Birdie, get on the cot," and she would climb right up on it.  She had long ago mastered how to read people and their emotions, and thus how to get people to do her bidding.

In many respects, Birdie was an icon for the ranch — she’s even the centerpiece of the ‘Meet the Animals‘ page on our Web site — and to lose her was to lose a part of ourselves.

It was a long, sleepless, emotional night.

Britt and Brenda were shocked by what had happened, too.  Britt drove over to the clinic late last night so he and Brenda could do an immediate autopsy on Birdie.  What they found was that the intestinal surgery had held up fine, no sutures had dehissed, and everything was intact.  This supported Britt’s view that Birdie most likely had thrown a clot that either caused a stroke in her brain or shut her heart down.  It was also consistent with how quickly and quietly she died. 

Brenda explained to me today that clotting is always a risk during and after operations because the body reacts to surgery — having tissue cut open and thus bleeding — by trying to clot and stanch the blood loss.  When a major clot is produced somewhere in the bloodstream and causes a stroke following surgery, it’s called a ‘thromboembolic accident.’

This morning, Birdie’s cottage seemed strangely sad and empty without her.  There was no hunched-over black Lab bounding out the door, grabbing a toy in her mouth to wave in front of one of the Dachshunds — she was always trying to get some kind of game started first thing in the morning.  There was no Birdie at the breakfast table, trying to get a biscuit from us. (We called her ‘Biscuit Birdie’ on these occasions and in general, ‘Bossy Birdie’ because of her talkative, demanding ways.)  With only one dog missing, it was suddenly a very lonely day. 

I think the worst part is simply that we never had a chance to say goodbye to this dog we adored so much.   

So this will have to do.  Goodbye, Birdie.  We will always love you.

Birdie_main_2

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71 responses to “Birdie Died Last Night”

  1. Debbie Avatar
    Debbie

    I lost a Jack to a blood clot after a C-section surgery. I was devestated. The only good that came out of it was 7 healthy beautiful pups and they all survived. I too cried for hours and I am crying with you now. I am so sorry to hear about your Birdie girl. She is in heaven now with all of her buddies that went before her. God Bless you Biscuit Birdie. We will miss you.

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  2. Kate Avatar
    Kate

    I’m so sorry to hear about both of your recent losses. I can’t say enough about how lucky all of your animals are to be able to come live with you. I hope you both are doing well even though your hearts are aching. Take care!

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  3. Carolyn Kupferschmid Avatar
    Carolyn Kupferschmid

    Steve and Alayne,
    Birdie was so fortunate to have a second chance at life and what a WONDERFUL second chance that was for her at RDR! My heart breaks along with everyone else for the two of you. My co-worker from Germany has told me that legend goes in her homeland that when we humans cross over to the other side, the animals we have helped in our lives help light our way to God. It will be CRAZY BRIGHT for you and Alayne when that time comes and I am sure after you two meet with God there will be an unbelievable reunion with the four legged friends-all of then you’ve helped and those you two haven’t even met yet. Please know there are many, many hugs from near and far for you and Alayne-today and always.

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  4. M&D LeBlanc Avatar
    M&D LeBlanc

    What a blessing you were given in that beautiful dog Birdie over the years. We are so sorry for your loss & we will keep you and the rest of the RDR family in our prayers.

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  5. heidi & the kitties Avatar
    heidi & the kitties

    Oh dear, such a terrible shock. What a special, dear soul she was, a true symbol of the Ranch. I am so terribly sorry for your loss, which really is a loss for all of us. Perhaps she will wave a toy at Oscar now, to get a game started, and all the other departed Ranch residents will join in.

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  6. Peggy and Matt Avatar
    Peggy and Matt

    Special animals like Birdie live with such joy, it makes saying good-bye all the more difficult. Our hearts are with you.

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  7. Shelli Smith Avatar
    Shelli Smith

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Birdie. My heart goes out to all of you at RDR.
    Hugs to all from Arlington, WA

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  8. Rosemary Avatar
    Rosemary

    It has been a tough year. This is a long post but I feel I owe it to Birdie. Alayne-Steve, in case you did not know, Birdie was my encouragement for working as a volunteer at RDR. I had first seen your newsletter at my vet clinic and was determined to help. I visited your Web site and could not keep myself together. I cried at every story I read including Birdie. There was no possible way I could volunteer. When I thought I was finally ready, RDR was at Caras Park in Missoula. I was confident, felt strong and headed to talk to someone about volunteering. Steve was busy and so I waited and walked around to visit the animals (still strong and confident). I was leaning on the ground petting and kissing on this cute, sweet dog. I asked the volunteer what her name was; she said, “This is Birdie.” I immediately broke down into tears because I read and knew what this gal had been through. Tears were flooding my eyes and so my daughter had to take me by the arm back to my office. There was obviously no way I was going to ever work at RDR. The next day I was in better shape. I was upset with myself that I could not be strong for the animals. So I came up with a plan after racking my brain on how I could ‘somewhat’ get over this weakness. For months I made sure that just about everyday I subjected myself to reality from different Web sites including Animeals, Dogster, etc. Yes, my eyes were a swollen mess for weeks but I managed. I felt myself get stronger with every story I read, tears still poured down my face, but I could definitely pick myself back up. When I felt ready, again, I wrote this long email to Alayne and Steve trying to tell them how great I would be if they would let me volunteer but did not dare tell them this weakness of mine. Then came my big first day of volunteering. As I drove into RDR’s driveway, I had to keep repeating, “You can do this-you can do this…” Oh my, here we go. Guess what? I survived without shedding one tear. When my day was done, I left with a huge grin and was truly amazed at the quality of life these animals have.
    Thank you, Alayne and Steve, for this wonderful opportunity to help. Laura, thanks for teaching me ‘the ropes’.
    Our dearest Birdie, thank you my sweet pea for giving me something I never knew I had and much more. We will miss and always remember you.

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  9. rozanne Avatar
    rozanne

    I too have read your many (unfortunately) recent blogs with eyes welling over with tears..I have lost many pets, and with every post here, the pain resurfaces. I lost my yellow Lab, Daisy, after a C-section. We were devastated but had to regroup as suddenly we had 5 pups that we raised tirelessly in her honor and memory. You both are in my thoughts and thank you for being there for these wonderful animals..if we didnt love them so much then we wouldnt feel the pain when they leave us…

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  10. Bob Avatar
    Bob

    Birdie had a great life with you. He found a home at RDR and enjoyed his time with his buddies. He loved his people and enjoyed showing who was really the boss.

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  11. The Zoo Crew Avatar

    Oh, my heart just breaks to read this news. Run free sweet Birdie…there are many of our fur-kids waiting for you! Steve and Alayne–bless you for all the love and devotion you give to so many lucky animals!

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  12. blomma finds Avatar

    I discovered your ranch on accident through a web search and have been reading your blog every day since I found you. What you are doing is truly amazing. I envy you for having such a fulfilling purpose in life. But I do not envy you today as you are dealing with the loss of two wonderful animals. As a black lab owner myself, I understand what you mean about a day without Birdie not being a complete one. I am so so sorry for your loss. Words can’t even begin to comfort… Take care.

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  13. Leanne Avatar
    Leanne

    Birdie was a doll–a lovely sweet soul. She leaves a big hole. I am so sorry.

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  14. Debbie Burke Avatar
    Debbie Burke

    Oh Steve and Alayne, I’m so sorry! I’ve been out of town for several weeks b/c of a death in the family(in this case, human), and just got home to read the heart-wrenching news about dear Birdie and Laddie.
    I first learned about RDR several years ago when Alayne visited Whitefish with love ambassador Birdie, who totally won my heart. I’ve been hooked ever since.
    Words aren’t enough. Hugs to you both and all the lucky critters you care for and love so deeply.
    Debbie Burke

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  15. kim Avatar
    kim

    SO sorry to hear about Birdie & definitely VERY unexpected. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

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  16. Sarah NZ Avatar
    Sarah NZ

    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you find some comfort in the wonderful life you gave Birdie. She wouldnt have had a chance without you guys. Such a sad shock 😦

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  17. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    We are so glad we got to meet that sweet silly girl. Your love for her and her love of being alive was so very apparent. It is hard no matter how it happens to have them pass out of our lives. Andy and I send our love.

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  18. Karen Avatar
    Karen

    Haven’t been on the site for a few days, so I was quite taken aback to read this post. I am so sorry for your loss of wonderful Birdie. Sending hugs and prayers to both of you.

    Like

  19. Shawna from Milwaukee Avatar
    Shawna from Milwaukee

    I am really sorry for your loss. You gave Birdie the best you could give and she knew you loved her everyday she was there with you.
    Birdie, tell my animals hello at the bridge for me!

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  20. tina anderson Avatar

    I just wanted to say first of all, my heart goes out to you and your wife. I truely understand your loss, and when I read this I felt the need to let you know. We had a English bulldog, just turned 4 in May and gave birth to her first and only litter one week later. We lost or dear Myrtle, almost 12 hours later, from a blood clot. Not only were we devasted and heartbroken, we had 9 of her babies to now raise without their mom. It was a very hard and long 4 months, as bulldogs require special care with their mom, let alone with out her. We tube fed them from day 1 and have now been blessed with 9 little ones to remind of us how wonderful she was. I just wanted to let you know, how much your story touched me, and how I understand your loss too.
    god bless,
    Tina

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  21. Lisa Koch Avatar
    Lisa Koch

    Although it has now been a half year since you lost Birdie, I am reading it for the first time today. I’m so sorry for your loss. My eyes are red and still teary, after reading your accounting of her last few days. We lost our dear “Bear” (blk lab/aussie mix) under very similar circumstances. We know the heart wrenching pain and the lingering loss of someone so extra special.
    Thank you for sharing. A dog such as Birdie deserved such a eulogy after giving so much love and joy to you. You said it well.
    God bless you and your work.

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