Teddy Aug 30

Our little survivor made it as far as he could go.  And today his body finally gave out.  It happened so fast I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

Yesterday Teddy had been his usual happy self.  He was eager for his dinner, and had been barking at Alayne in the kitchen to hurry up with the feeding.  Last night he had been breathing a little heavier than normal, but nothing we hadn't seen before — especially on a warm evening.  Yet just to make sure he didn't have a fever, we took his temperature and it was normal at 101 (38.3 C).  By the time we put him up for the night, his breathing had subsided.

But this morning when we got up Teddy had very labored breathing, with his mouth open and head pointed up.  This was the same thing that sent him back to the hospital almost a month ago to the day.  After a week there, our vets could find nothing in the imaging or lab results to explain the breathing difficulty.  He quickly recovered from it and came home in great shape.

Still, we were concerned by a repeat episode, so Alayne and I tested his glucose level and it was at 283 — pretty low for Teddy.  But his temperature was now 98.9 (37.1 C), too low for comfort given the other signs we were seeing.  Just to make sure there wasn't a problem with the thermometer, a few minutes later we took it again … and it had dropped to 98.6.  Uh oh.

I called our clinic's emergency number, and our vet, Dr. Brenda Culver, soon called back.  Alayne was already preparing to rush Teddy to the clinic, and I told Brenda that Alayne would call her as soon as she got over MacDonald Pass and near Helena so she'd know when to meet her at the clinic.

I took Teddy outside so he could pee while I went to get the truck ready.  When I got back to the house, Teddy was sitting up next to the wall of the house, soaking in the early morning sun, but panting heavily.  I picked him up and started carrying him out to the truck.  About halfway there, his body went rigid, his front legs paddled furiously, and then his head flopped over to the side.  I dropped to my knees on the drive to cradle him, and yelled to Alayne to hurry outside. 

Teddy's body lay limp in my hands, and I thought we had lost him.  Then, to my astonishment, he regained consciousness.  He picked his head up and put his legs down.  I set him on the ground and he stood on all fours, as if nothing had happened.  At that point Alayne came up, and I said, "I thought he had died but he came back.  We're running out of time."  

We rushed over to the truck parked in the vehicle shed, but as we got there, he went limp in my hands again and his head fell over.  I cradled him once more, but this time he didn't bounce back.  I got down on my knees and held him in my arms.  I told Alayne, "We've lost him."  She started crying.  "Oh, Teddy, no!  Please!"  She scooped him up so she could hold him against her chest.  A few seconds later, as she was holding him, she said, "Wait! I can hear him breathing!"  And sure enough, he had just started to breathe again.  We were incredulous.  He was still fighting.

She threw her things in the front seat of the truck while I wrapped him in blankets and laid him in the back seat.  A minute later, there was a cloud of dust as Alayne raced down the road towards Highway 200.

I called Brenda to let her know what had happened so she could be prepared.

I headed out to the barns to do morning chores.  About 20 minutes later the phone rang.  It was Alayne calling from the truck.  She said, "We lost him about Helmville.  He just stopped breathing altogether."  (Helmville is a little town like Ovando, south of us on the way to Helena.)  Alayne had kept reaching into the back seat to check on Teddy, and that's when she realized she could no longer feel or hear him breathing.

We decided there and then to have her continue on to Helena so Brenda could do a necropsy — an autopsy — to find out what happened. 

Brenda did the necropsy this afternoon and emailed me with her findings. 

Brenda said she "found very little on the gross level to explain his sudden death. I have submitted multiple tissue samples for histopathology which will give us more definitive answers. On gross necropsy (those changes visible to the naked eye), the liver appeared enlarged and the pancreas was discolored…changes consistent with diabetes and not necessarily specific explanations for his death this morning."

She thought the series of events "can be consistent with a thromboembolic accident ('stroke'). The histopathology will help to determine if this is the possible cause of death as well as any other pathologies involved."

Brenda said we should have the full necropsy report by the end of this week, and she'll let us know if the results come in sooner.  For background she had written, "In order to get the
necessary tissue samples, I used routine surgical approaches and
delicate tissue handling for optimal histopathology results. His body
was treated with the utmost respect while performing this procedure."

At the clinic, Brenda had told Alayne that diabetes takes a systemic toll on the body, and the older the patient is, the harder it is on them.  She said, "We know he was already old, but he may have been even older than we thought."  In which case, she said, "his little body could have just worn out."

Still, it seems so danged unfair.  Here he went for so long with untreated diabetes, which blinded him; then he was nearly starved to death; and finally he was dumped out on a curb to fend for himself — only to be rescued and brought to us, where he was able to get the best possible medical care and as much love as he could handle.  We had Teddy for just over 10 weeks — and four of those he spent in the hospital, where he underwent major bladder and gallbladder surgery.

I guess that's what seems so unfair … late in life, his luck finally changed, but he didn't get to enjoy it for more than a few weeks.  And he had been doing so well recently!  He was spunky and bossy and loved his new life here.

Teddy had a particular attachment to me, and followed me around the house so he could stay close.  He loved nothing more than lying on my lap.  On those evenings when I had time to sit in the recliner in the living room to read, Teddy would come over, stand up on his hind feet, put his front paws on the edge of the chair, and look at me with this quizzical expression that said, "Well?  Here I am!"  I'd reach down and pull him up so he could sit with me while I read.  When I was working in the office, he'd come in to sleep on one of the beds in here.  Often he'd come over to the desk chair, stand up on his hind feet, and demand to be picked up and held.  It didn't matter to him whether it was a recliner or desk chair, all he knew was that I was sitting down … and that meant my lap was available.

I kept thinking I needed to get a photo of his scruffy little face appearing over the edge of my chair … but I never did.

So just over two months was all we got with him.  Bless his little heart.

We love you, Teddy.  We miss you already.

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129 responses to “Teddy Died Today”

  1. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    Steve and Alayne, I am so very sorry to hear about sweet, lovable Teddy. My deepest sympathies to you both. You did your very best to save him. As many have mentioned before, he spent his last months feeling safe and surrounded by love.
    Take good care of yourselves.

    Like

  2. Christine Baltazar Avatar
    Christine Baltazar

    I read your blog every morning when I get to work and this was just not what I was expecting. I burst in to tears with co-workers wondering what on earth happened. I am so sorry that sweet little guy didn’t have more time with you. At least he knew what love was even if it was only for a short time. We’re certainly all better people for having known him. Please take care and know you and Alayne are in our hearts. Thank you for being there for sweet little Teddy.

    Like

  3. Maureen Bishop Avatar
    Maureen Bishop

    I am so so sorry Steve and Alayne,
    Teddy was a survivor and he had
    the best of the best the last 10 weeks. I know how hard this is having lost my own little fighter
    a month ago. Teddy will be missed.
    Thank you for all that you do for these guys.

    Like

  4. Rosemary Furnell Avatar
    Rosemary Furnell

    Dear Steve and Alayne..
    I’m just brokenhearted in reading about our little Teddy! He was a precious little dog..and we are all going to miss him so very much. He will be waiting for you both at the Rainbow Bridge. I’ll say a prayer for Teddy..and you guys too. Thank you for all the wonderful work you do for our precious animal friends at the ranch. May God bless you both.
    Rosemary

    Like

  5. Kenna Avatar

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am so very glad he had you for the time he did, though! He knew he was well loved by everyone!!

    Like

  6. Dawn Avatar
    Dawn

    I’m so sorry to hear about sweet little Teddy. I know he appreciated all your efforts, you did everything you could. Poor little guy. I’m sorry.

    Like

  7. Sasha in MN Avatar
    Sasha in MN

    Sweet little Teddy the heart bandit may have earned his wings but he made quite an impact in such little time.
    Thank you Steve & Alayne for sharing him with us and making his last days on earth the best humanly possible.
    The price you pay is high opening your hearts & home to those who truly need it, investing your emotions and love on those who are beyond deserving.
    My thoughts are with you both today and I will hug my own little rescue extra close with Teddy in mind.
    I wish I could vote a thousand times in remembrance of him today, instead I will make extra efforts to let more folks know about the shelter contest & voting.

    Like

  8. Taz Avatar
    Taz

    I am terribly saddened by the loss of sweet Teddy! I’m am so very thankful that he got to see how the good life was before he went. Bless you two for all you do for our forgotten animal family!

    Like

  9. Amy A Avatar
    Amy A

    Steve and Alayane, thank you so much for taking Teddy in and giving him a safe, secure, warm, and happy place to spend his finals days. I am sorry he is gone. God Bless you both and the work that you do.

    Like

  10. DT Avatar
    DT

    So sorry to hear about little Teddy. With the both of you he knew what it was truely like to be loved.
    Rest In Peace little Buddy Teddy!

    Like

  11. Lisa Koch Avatar
    Lisa Koch

    I am so sad, and I’m crying too for the loss of Teddy. Sweet, sweet little guy. I felt like I knew him.
    Thank you for giving him such a fighting chance these past few months, and all the LOVE and CARE he deserved. How precious that he knew your lap was just for him!
    God bless you and Alayne.

    Like

  12. Regis Dalton Avatar
    Regis Dalton

    Alayne and Steve, What a heartbreak for you. His short time with you was full of love and care that he never had. Bless his little soul.

    Like

  13. Becca, Sweet Pea and Rocky Avatar
    Becca, Sweet Pea and Rocky

    My heart is breaking for you both. It’s just not fair that we have these sweet little companions for such a short time. Please take comfort in knowing you gave Teddy the best 2 months of his life and he died happy at the RDR.

    Like

  14. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    I’ve only found your rescue group a short time ago, but one of the first posts I read was about Teddy coming to the ranch. My heart went out to him and I was so glad he found a home with you and Alayne. I am so sad to hear that he is now gone. I can only hope that it’s true what they say, that dogs only live in the moment and not in the past. He no longer remembered cruelty and despair, but sunshine, love, respect and warm laps, and that is what he took with him.
    My heart goes out to you and Alayne.

    Like

  15. Aliza Avatar
    Aliza

    I was not expecting that this morning. I clicked on the page and saw his sweet face, and then read the subject, and I just could not put the two items together. Teddy died? What? No, it had to be a mistake. Maybe they taught him how to lie down and play dead or something. But as I scrolled further and further down reading, it appeared it was not a joke. What a little fighter he was! And so unfair is exactly right. I’m absolutely stunned right now. I refuse to cry at work, but I will definitely be crying later. A lot.

    Like

  16. Tonya Avatar
    Tonya

    Oh, I’m so sorry. Yes, it does seem unfair. But the important thing to remember is that Teddy doesn’t think so. All he knows is that for the last part of his life he was happy, and in his last moments he was with the people who loved him and gave him that happiness. Try to hold on to that, and be comforted knowing you made those last few weeks good ones.

    Like

  17. Consuelo Larrabee Avatar
    Consuelo Larrabee

    You went to extraordinary lengths for Teddy. His spunk & bright little spirit endeared him to all of us. As Moira Anderson has said:
    “YOU WOULD NOT FEEL THE PAIN IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR THE LOVE.”
    Peace yo him & to you.

    Like

  18. Miranda Avatar
    Miranda

    What a crappy and tearful way to start a Monday! I’m terribly sorry to hear of Teddy’s passing but I absolutely KNOW you two gave him more love in the 10 weeks you knew him than he received his whole life. My sincerest condolences and hugs to you both and thank you for giving Teddy some very loved and cared for weeks.

    Like

  19. Angela Avatar
    Angela

    Dear Steve and Alayne,
    My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your precious little jewel. You and your vets and everyone connected with making him better were his way to happiness, even though it was short-lived. He most certainly got the good he deserved, though for a short while, because of you. I’m thinking he has already seen angels so he won’t be scared in heaven. You are there with him – and know how loved and respected you are by your fans for what you and all your colleagues do every day so bravely.
    Rest in peace darling Teddy,
    Angela

    Like

  20. Jennifer Tranthem Avatar

    I’m so sorry to hear about losing Teddy. He had the face of an angel. I feel like I’ve lost one of my own. I’m thankful he was blessed with joy and love from you.

    Like

  21. Mary Elynne Tappero Avatar
    Mary Elynne Tappero

    I’m so sorry for you and Alayne. Teddy was very lucky to have so much love in the last part of his life.

    Like

  22. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Steve and Alayne,
    I’m heartbroken for you… but as traumatic as his last moments on earth were for you, to have been in your arms had to be the greatest comfort possible. Your very best care and investment of heart & soul for Teddy were priceless. I’m thankful he could find the best of humanity before gaining his wings. Peace to you all. So sorry…

    Like

  23. Barb Avatar
    Barb

    My heart aches for both of you. Teddy loved you both and his new wonderful home. Thank you so much for giving him the love and tenderness he so much needed.
    God bless you both.

    Like

  24. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    I believe dogs live in the moment and thoses moments Teddy lived with you were the best moments he ever had. He was happy and loved at the end. What more could he or any of us ask for?
    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Like

  25. Chloe and Kate Avatar

    Teddy,
    Thank you for your gift in opening our hearts. We are sending you love and light on your spiritual journey. We will never forget you sweet one.

    Like

  26. Cora Avatar
    Cora

    Even though I never held him…losing this one hurt…a lot.

    Like

  27. Lori Avatar
    Lori

    I too read your blog every morning when I come into work. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I don’t know how you both do it – yet I do. Thank you for being there for all those poor animals that wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you both.You have given so much to so many (both animals and humans). I thank the Lord that there are people like you in the world. My heart goes out to you both. Thank you for giving the animals all the love and care that they deserve.

    Like

  28. Katy Avatar
    Katy

    Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of little Teddy. He was such a bright little star and I wish I could’ve held him myself he was so adorable. You gave him happiness at the end of his life, which is a LOT. Hugs to you both.

    Like

  29. Jen Avatar
    Jen

    I’m sitting here crying. I know you wanted more time for him, and with him. But man, he was so lucky to finally have found his forever home with you guys. Just the fact that he knew love, he knew you and Alayne cared about him is such a wonderful gift he received and you received love in return. I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounded like a wonderful little guy. You are both in my thoughts.

    Like

  30. Lynne Avatar

    Sometimes you give these disabled, neglected and abused animals a safe, loving place to live. And sometimes you give them a safe, loving place to die.
    One is just as important as the other.

    Like

  31. veronika jones Avatar
    veronika jones

    My heart goes out to both of you. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Like

  32. Nina Avatar
    Nina

    Steve and Alayne: I am sooooo sorry to hear about the loss of Teddy. You two gave him health care, compassion and love to the very end. He was blessed to spend his last days with you both at the ranch.

    Like

  33. Brenda - Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada Avatar
    Brenda – Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada

    I am very sorry for your loss of Teddy’s, take comfort knowing that you both did everything possible to make his life full of love, comfort and security in his final days. He was one cute little fella. Bless you both.

    Like

  34. Pat Silverman Avatar
    Pat Silverman

    I am heartbroken. Thank you Steve and Alayne for giving this little guy a happy and loving life. He knew total love for his final months on this earth.

    Like

  35. Amy Henson Avatar
    Amy Henson

    My heart goes out to you…I never got to meet Teddy, but after following his progress in the daily posts, I felt like he was one of my own. I think one of the comments said it best…sometimes you give these animals a happy, safe place to live, and sometimes you give them a peaceful, safe place to die. And both are so important. I feel comfort knowing that he was in a safe, happy place he loved, surrounded by people who loved him very much. I am so sorry for you. I’m going to miss little Teddy…what a fighter! And thank you so much for what you guys do!!!!

    Like

  36. Henry Yamamoto Avatar

    He had the best 10 weeks of his life you you folks!

    Like

  37. Bibi Edwards Avatar
    Bibi Edwards

    His little heart will forever be blessed for having had his time with you………I am so sorry

    Like

  38. Roxie Avatar
    Roxie

    We shed more than a few tears in San Francisco today for little Teddy. What a big heart full of love in that little body.

    Like

  39. Annette Avatar
    Annette

    I am truly very sorry for little Teddy. I so connected with him from the beginning and prayed for him. He received love from you guys & that’s what go him through everything at the end. You should be proud of yourselves for giving him something he never knew. God Bless You Teddy. I’ve been crying all day every time I think about that little guy. He was a fighter, for sure. Thank you for what you do for all these animals. You are both one of a kind – Angels here on Earth!
    Annette from Colorado

    Like

  40. Libby Avatar
    Libby

    What a terrible loss…that you could share his last brave moments with us while you are greiving tells of how wonderful you are. Please know that we have all been captured by his beautiful spirit. I hope the tears many of us spill for you can lighten your burden a little.
    He’s always in your lap now…
    xo
    Libby

    Like

  41. Cheryl Avatar
    Cheryl

    How heartbreaking, I was really pulling for this little guy. At least he got to experience a nice warm lap in his last days. Thank you for doing all that you do for these animals.

    Like

  42. Shauna at WSU Avatar
    Shauna at WSU

    I am so sorry, Teddy will surely be missed.

    Like

  43. Marla Avatar
    Marla

    Teddy……you were so very loved in the end. What a great way to transition to the land beyond the rainbow bridge. May you truly rest in peace my little one. The photo of you in today’s post said it all about your final journey….you look so handsome and you look like you belong to someone who loved you much.

    Like

  44. Colleen & Sweet Kitty Erin Avatar
    Colleen & Sweet Kitty Erin

    I am so sorry. I can hardly type I’m crying so hard for him & for you & Alayne. I fell in love with Teddy the minute I saw his sweet face. It was not fair at all. Bless his sweet angel heart & now he doesn’t have to fight anymore while he waits for your lap at Rainbow Bridge. God bless you for what you do! He had a few weeks of bliss being with you all!!

    Like

  45. Kacy Avatar
    Kacy

    I’m so very sorry to hear about Teddy. I’m so thankful though that he got to experience love and happiness and a warm lap with you guys before his end. Thank you for giving him so much.

    Like

  46. Rita Avatar
    Rita

    Thank you for being there. Poor little guy has to suffer no more. Love to you and your pets.

    Like

  47. Karen Mundy Avatar
    Karen Mundy

    I am so sorry for your loss,what a brave little man he was.I’m so glad that he had someone to love him and cherish him in his final weeks.I just can’t stop crying,what wonderful people you are,god bless you.

    Like

  48. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    Your loss is our loss. We have been praying all along. I’m sure he is happy over the bridge playing with all of our friends and waiting for us. Godspeed Teddy.

    Like

  49. Jen Avatar
    Jen

    I’m so very sorry. Teddy had found a place in my heart from the beginning. His last 10 weeks were the happiest of his life. Thank you both for all you do.

    Like

  50. eek Avatar

    I’m so sorry. He was such a cute little dog and I always enjoyed reading about him. I’d hoped he would have a longer time to enjoy his new life. In the end it wasn’t a bad way to go — he was happy and loved during his last weeks.

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