Helen on last morning

She gave it everything she had … and then she let us know she was ready to go.  Our beautiful blind Rottie, Helen, died yesterday afternoon.  I took the photo in the morning, knowing this would be her last day.  As always, she had her little tongue sticking out while she slept.  She had battled cancer for a long time, having lost a rear leg to it a few years ago and then getting stricken with a different kind of cancer last year.  Helen was currently on a second course of chemotherapy for her fibrosarcoma.  In recent months she had been slowing down — a function of her age, hip dysplasia in her remaining rear leg, and no doubt the toll taken by the cancer and chemo.  We don't really know how old she was, but we'd had her for eight years and she was no youngster when she first arrived.  We guessed she was by now at least 12, if not older.

On Saturday morning she didn't want to get up, so we let her lie there on her bed in the dog room.  She would drink but not eat, and by Saturday evening she would turn her nose away from food.  We knew what all this meant.  She was done and wanted to go.  We sat with her for quite a while Saturday night, loving her up.  On Sunday morning, she was still lying there peacefully, and again would drink but not eat that day.  We kept the woodstove going all weekend in the dog room so she could be toasty warm on her bed, and she seemed very restful.  But on Monday morning when we got up we noticed her breathing was suddenly heavier than normal, so I called our vet clinic in Whitefield and scheduled an appointment for euthanasia.  We had hoped she would be able to pass away here at home, but only as long as she wasn't in any discomfort.  Seeing the difference in her breathing changed that.

Alayne and I bundled her in fleece blankets and put her on the stretcher, then carried her out and slid the stretcher into the back seat of the truck.  By the time I got to the clinic, I could sense Helen was slipping away.  While I waited for our vet to come out to the truck, I sat in the back seat with her.  I realized she was going, right then and there, and started to cry.  (I just don't do this well.)  When our vet, Dr. Chris Plumley, and vet tech Kim C., got to the truck, Chris asked, "Is she still with us?" 

I looked at Helen, and said, "No, I think we're losing her."  Then she raised her head slightly, took her final breaths … and she was gone. 

Helen was one tough girl, and had overcome so much — blindness at an early age, then losing a leg, then fighting more cancer.  Along the way she had more lumps and bumps removed than any dog I think we've ever had except blind Goldie. 

At the ranch in Montana, she staked out Alayne's office as her den, and that's where she lived — morning, noon and night.  Alayne said yesterday, "She was the best officemate ever."  We had Helen in our fall 2010 print newsletter as one of our "ranch originals."

When we were first asked to take her, I will admit we were nervous.  We were, like many people who don't know any better, intimidated by Rottweilers at the time.  But we agreed to take her, and were always glad we did.  As we've said many times, Helen was a perfect ambassador for the breed.  On visitor days at the ranch, people would often freeze when they saw this big, 100 lb Rottie with her odd-looking eyes come around the corner.  Helen was always a kisser, and there was no one she didn't like to smooch with.  We'd laugh and say, "Don't worry, she's only going to lick you to death, so get prepared."  Our visitors would relax, and here would come blind Helen, lumbering over to them, tongue at the ready.  She helped change many minds that way.

Goodbye, Helen.  We will always love you.

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117 responses to “We Lost Blind Helen”

  1. Mary Coursey Avatar
    Mary Coursey

    I have been struggling to find the right words. Helen had a wonderful life because of both of you and the caring people who help all of the wonderful animals in your family.
    My heart is with both of you and Helen. It is okay to cry. Peace and love to all.

    Like

  2. Kenna Avatar
    Kenna

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m going to miss your updates about her and the “tongue-hanging-out” pics. 😦 So glad she had you all!

    Like

  3. Sara Avatar

    The work you do is amazing – and I’ve only known about you since you moved to New Hampshire. I vote everyday and hope you win the funds you need.
    I cried when I read about Helen – that was sad = but what a wonderful life she had with you!

    Like

  4. julie williams Avatar
    julie williams

    It’s not something that EVER gets any easier, and for me, it’s not the dying, it’s the breaking of that special bond, here on earth. Those bonds are so strong and special, that losing them, well, is nigh unto intolerable, but as time goes on, perhaps a bit more bearable.

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  5. Lindsay Mathieson Avatar

    My deepest sympathies, its always so hard to lose them, but I feel, especially hard to a illness like cancer.
    But thank you so much for giving her such love and happiness, you do such great work. It makes my week a lot better to see your posts and pictures of all the happy happy chaps.

    Like

  6. Jessica, NL Avatar
    Jessica, NL

    Oh dear… I cried when I first read the post itself, but now I’m crying even more with reading all the loving and tearful comments!
    Isn’t it amazing and beautiful, such a big network of emotion around the globe. I’m in Europe in the Netherlands myself, and someone is in Italy and there must be more friends in other places… Helen and the others before her must have had a arrival at the bridge with the speed of a Ferrari 😉

    Like

  7. Rhonda Avatar

    Oh goodness, I am just now catching this.
    First of all, my sincere sympathies for the loss of Helen. There is just not anything but time that takes away the pain of losing a beloved pet.
    Secondly, bless your hearts for the work you do. I shudder to think what might have happened to her if you hadn’t taken her in. With you, she knew love and caring and a wonderful home….in short, a life she deserved to live, despite her abilities. We all know, she would have been put down had you not taken her. I know she will check in on your from time to time, and will be waiting to greet you and be reunited with you over the bridge.

    Like

  8. Ann & Jim Arnold Avatar
    Ann & Jim Arnold

    I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear Helen. My dog had just passed away two days before her on Saturday, October 23rd. Reading your story about her made me feel a little less sad about losing my Huck. He had battled his own liver disease for the past 3 months and when he took a turn for the worse on Friday night we decided it was best to have him euthenised, as well. I think he would have died that day anyways, but my husband and I did not want him to suffer any longer than necessary. We were lucky to have Huck with us for the past 7 years and he was a great dog. I hope he meets your Helen up in dog heaven and they can become friends. Neither one of them is suffering any more and they both know they were deeply loved here on Earth. Bless you guys and the work that you do. You are my heroes.

    Like

  9. Phyllis Rose-Thomas Avatar
    Phyllis Rose-Thomas

    I always had a special place in my heart for Helen. I had a Rottie/Lab mix that I lost 2 years ago to cancer. And I too had some misgivings when she first came into my life. But these wonderful big dogs have so much love for their people. Thank you for caring for Helen and loving her so much. I picture her and my Chloe, both at the Rainbow bridge, but healed and happy.

    Like

  10. Betsy MN Avatar
    Betsy MN

    I always check your blog on the days you post and when I saw that Helen had passed away it made me think of our dog that had passed a couple months before. I am truly sorry for your loss but glad that Helen had such a great life with you both.

    Like

  11. Harry Avatar

    Dear Steve and Alayne
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    If you have to go then going with love has got to be the best way to do it. Helen went with love. And right now she’s bragging to her mates as she looks down on Rolling Dog Ranch and asks, ‘So do you honestly think you were loved as much as I was loved down there?’
    Rest well Helen. Grieve gently Steve & Alayne and all at RDR.

    Like

  12. STEVEN F. GOLDSMITH Avatar
    STEVEN F. GOLDSMITH

    SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT HELEN,THANK YOU FOR GIVING HER A WONDERFUL HOME YOU GUYS ARE ANGELS FROM HEAVEN.IM SO GLAD TO HEAR ELLA & GABE FOUND A WONDERFUL HOME IN CA.THIS REMINDS ME TO VOTE EVERYDAY TO FEED THE ANIMALS & HELP RDR BY CASTING MY VOTE FOR YOU GUYS,GOD BLESS,STEVE,DEBBIE & OUR LITTLE LANIE

    Like

  13. Adele in the Bronx Avatar

    It’s always hard to hear about a loss of a beloved pet. I end up reliving the deaths of my own dear ones. I’m so sorry for your loss. Know you gave her the best life she could possibly have had, and that she knew it, too.
    Keep on keeping on.

    Like

  14. boundforglory Avatar
    boundforglory

    I’m so sorry to hear about Helen’s passing. I could feel this coming on; as I believe you did as well. I have RDR’s newsletter and am grateful that Helen is pictured on it. A very sweet, strong and brave girl!
    Forever loved and forever remembered for the gifts she gave…sending love to Helen at Rainbow Bridge….

    Like

  15. Sue Avatar

    Oh my gosh, I am so so so sorry to just read this news. I always had such a soft spot for Helen and am so sad that she is gone. She was so lucky to have such a wonderful life with all of you…I love the description of her licking everyone to death. Sigh…it never gets easier to lose them, does it? Sending you both a monster hug…
    xoxo
    Sue

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  16. Kim Johnston Avatar
    Kim Johnston

    Steve and Alayne, I am just beside myself in sadness for your loss. I am so sorry. I appreciate the wonderful life you gave Helen. She was such a special girl. RIP, dear one…you will be missed.

    Like

  17. megan Avatar
    megan

    I am behind, and just now saw this post. I am so very sorry. Helen has always been one of my RDR favorites. My condolences to you all.

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